I Don't Drink Coffee
by dereban
Summary: Pacifica doesn't drink coffee. Dipper is perplexed. Oneshot.


"I can't believe we survived that!"

"Probably because I was saving your butt the entire time…"

Dipper looks over at his partner with a scowl and defends himself, "You did not! I could have handled it myself just fine."

The blonde scoffs and rolls her eyes.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure. You probably could have gotten out alive after those gnomes cornered you, huh? My distraction didn't help _at all_." Her retort comes with a heavy layer of sarcasm that kind of riles him up, but Dipper still can't stop the smirk that graces his lips.

"Considering the fact that I had to stop them from making you their new queen after that, yeah!" He bites back. "I saved _you_ from becoming 'Pacifica Northwest: Queen of the Gnomes.'"

Pacifica manages to hold back a laugh. "God, whatever, Pines! Just can't admit that I might actually be getting better at this 'monster hunting' thing. I might even be better than you." She nudges her shoulder against his lightly, half teasing and half an attempt at closing the distance between them.

"Okay, although that has yet to be proven, I'm still really surprised at how _into_ this you are. I didn't really expect it out of you, to be honest." He reciprocates and nudges her shoulder back, internally hoping that it comes off as flirty and not too 'best friend-y'. Since when did he worry about stuff like this?

"Yeah, well, the whole ghost curse thing really opened my eyes up, you know?" Her gaze lifts to the orange sky above them, the stars already starting peek out as the solitary sun falls. "It was just so…exciting. I felt this total, like, _rush_ when I was running around with you. It was better than any mini golf tournament I've ever been in." She looks back at the boy with the pine tree cap walking next to her, his hand within her grasp. "So I thought I'd just…keep doing it. Plus, it gets me out of the house so that I don't have to be around my dumb parents all day." She stuffs her hands into the pockets of her purple jacket.

"That's actually…pretty awesome of you. Thanks. For saving my butt today and for coming with me on all those other hunts." He gives her a genuine smile and it lights her heart up. Now, she's regretting putting her hands in her pockets.

"Yeah, well, don't get too used to it." She says, shyly.

Dipper's cheeks warm up and he finally notices the awkward atmosphere that he accidentally created. He clears his throat roughly. "You know, that being said, I'm still pretty exhausted after today. I'll probably need to make some coffee so I have the energy to go through the notes I took."

An audible gag comes from his right. "Oh my god, gross. I _cannot_ believe you actually put that stuff in your body."

Dipper stops in his tracks, just a few feet away from the Mystery Shack, perplexed. "What? You mean coffee? What's wrong with drinking coffee?"

Pacifica releases her hands from the confines of her jacket and starts waving them for emphasis. "There's, like, so much caffeine and stuff in it. You could totally get addicted. So not my thing."

Her perpetually capped crush is quick to come to take the murky beverage's side. "But you get such an energy boost from it! If you're feeling super groggy, like right now, it picks you right back up. And it's so warm and cozy."

Pacifica simply waves off the apparent benefits. "I can get all that with some green tea. There is no way I would ever drink that stuff. I happen to care about my body."

Now it's Dipper's turn to roll his eyes. "Wow, the struggles of the wealthy elite. How could I have known?"

His delivery is deadpan while he opens the front door and steps aside to invite Pacifica in.

"Whatever, dork, do you guys have a water bottle or something?"

 **xxx**

Pacifica is about to freaking lose it and groans into her calculus notes.

She hears Dipper laugh from her laptop and looks up at her screen with tired eyes.

"You should get some rest. It's getting pretty late." He admonishes. They've been Skyping for over five hours now and she looks ready to collapse.

"Uggghhh…I want to, but the AP test is in, like, two days. I need to get this stuff down or else I'm not gonna pass." She replies, picking up the mechanical pencil she threw onto her bed earlier. "If you're tired, you don't have to pull an all nighter with me. I'll just study on my own." She feels a little bad that she's making him stay up with her, but Dipper already took the test last year and got a freaking 5. Having his help will guarantee she get a 4, at the very least.

"No, it's fine. I was the one that offered so it's not a big deal." He says, trying to soothe her worries. "Although, if you're really dead set on this, maybe you should make some coffee. It'll perk you right up."

"C'mon, Dipper. You know I don't drink that stuff."

"Ah yes! How could I forget?" Dipper suddenly takes on a posh British accent. "The heiress does not bother consuming the beverages of us lowly peasants. How utterly foolish of me!" He places the back of his hand to his forehead and continues to tease the crap out of his upper-class friend (?).

"God, you are such a dork! Can you just help me with these last few problems, and then we'll call it a night?" Pacifica asks, clearly annoyed with his shenanigans.

"Why, of course, madam! Right away, Miss Northwest!"

"OH MY GOD, STOP."

 **xxx**

Dipper is lying face down on Pacifica's couch, 100% sure he's dying.

He starts to let out a long groan but is interrupted by the sound of a mug hitting the coffee table in front of him.

"Here, drink up." The blonde is officially in charge of babysitting Dipper during his hangover, though she doesn't seem to mind one bit.

A muffled "thank you" makes its way out of the cushions as Dipper groggily sits up and starts sipping.

"Mmm…you know, for someone that doesn't drink the stuff, you make a pretty good cup of hot bean juice." Dipper compliments.

"Please don't call it that." Pacifica replies from the kitchen, as she starts putting together a breakfast for the two of them.

Dipper slowly blinks his eyes in an effort to adjust to the bright sunlight pouring in from the window. "How are you okay? It was _your_ sorority's party. You just invited me to it. And yet, _I'm_ the one that's hungover."

"Well, I didn't have any more than two drinks that I nursed throughout the night. You, on the other hand, decided to play three whole games of Rage Cage." She answers, cracking a few eggs into a frying pan.

Dipper lets out a satisfied sigh at the smell and leans back into the couch. "One of these days, Northwest, you're going to be so hungover. And you're going to be begging for a cup of coffee…"

"I really doubt that."

 **xxx**

Dipper is standing in the hallway of Pacifica's apartment complex. His mouth is open like a total idiot and he's just staring blankly at the girl standing in her own doorway. What was he doing again? He was dropping her off after their date (which went great, by the way) and about to say goodbye when…

"Wait, sorry. What was that?" He manages to get out.

Pacifica raises an eyebrow, but asks her question again, anyways. "I said, 'Do you want to come in for a cup of coffee?'"

Yeah, he heard right. So why is he still so confused?

"But…" He starts. "You don't drink coffee."

Dipper looks down and starts moving his hands back and forth like he's putting together pieces of a puzzle, like it's somehow going to help the question make more sense.

"How would you make coffee…when you don't drink coffee? That would mean you have stuff to make coffee with…but you don't drink coffee…"

Pacifica is starting to blush and tries to make up an excuse. "Uh, it's Mabel." She says, quickly. "She says she likes using my coffee maker, so she just keeps all her stuff here."

Dipper is even more confused.

"But why would you have a coffee maker…if you don't drink coffee? And I _know_ Mabel doesn't drink coffee when she can just make a cup of Mabel Juice and get twice as much energy."

Pacifica is full-on tomato red. She checks down both ends of the hallway before quietly whispering to the seemingly dense dork in front of her.

"God, I'm trying to be subtle here. Do you want to come in 'for coffee' or not?"

He still doesn't get it.

Wait.

Oh.

OH.

"Um, yeah. Sure."

 **end**

If you're reading this, thanks for taking the time to give my story a look.

This is like my second fic ever so feedback is much appreciated.

This was just an idea that was bouncing around in my head. I know it may see strange or even OOC that Pacifica doesn't drink coffee like every other basic white girl out there so I created the headcanon that the Northwests treat their bodies like temples don't consume anything bad for them. Idk. Or it was just an excuse to craft a story around Pacifica inviting Dipper in for "coffee". Would that make this T for implications or K+ because nothing was explicitly described?

Also, for anyone that's following my other story, SUMMER: the second part is being worked on. I wish I could say that I was busy with other stuff and that's why it's taking so long but the real reason is that I'm just a lazy dumbass lol.

Lesson learned: plan your ENTIRE story out before writing. I'm getting some blocks and second guessing myself with how the plot is going even though I have a general idea of what I want to happen. BUT IT IS COMING (even though it's been like 4 months). Expect a long one. I'm currently at around 4500 words and I'm not even at the halfway point yet.

Please look forward to it.


End file.
